Mental STFU Secrets.
There has got to be a better way.
I had been meditating for some time and enjoying amazing results in my life. But, like many people, the short time I could focus before getting tangled up in thought was disappointing.
I had been steadily improving. Still, I kept thinking there has got to be a better way.
In the morning, I meditate, work out, write, and take my pups for a walk before work. There is always a better way, which kept going through my head as I walked my fur babies.
That led to thinking there must be some meditation training or exercise we can do to mute our minds longer. A meditating prep, like the training an athlete does to get better at a sport; is strength training for your mind.
As I walked, I thought about my short focus time when meditating. On a whim, I picked a streetlight half a block away and asked myself, can my mind STFU and focus on my breathing until I get to that streetlight?
I took the usual three deep breaths, deep in, slow out, and began focusing on my breathing as I walked… and nope. I only made it a short distance. So, I picked a parked car for a goal that was half the distance…nope. Sheesh, really?
Then I picked a line in the sidewalk ridiculously close, about ten paces away, and yes! Total and complete silence. I know ten steps do not sound like much, but when your monkey mind is going apeshit, getting it to shut up for ten steps is heaven.
The success felt great. I picked another line about the same distance, and again my mind was silent, and I held focus on my breathing.
(Want a micro laugh? Go to the definition of “apeshit” and click on the speaker icon to hear your computer say it).
The next time I made it to the “goal line” on the sidewalk, I did not pause; I immediately picked the next line as I stepped over my current goal line. I repeatedly picked one line after another like using monkey bars.
www.freepik.com/photos/summer Summer photo created by freepik
This stitched-together good distance of pure silence, ten steps at a time. That is how I came up with the name Monkey Bar Meditation. Because you can’t cross the monkey bars in one big jump or swing. But you can cross using one bar after another. I could not quiet my mind for the entire length of the park in one go. But I did quiet my mind for the entire length of the park, one little section at a time.
How Do You Meditate About a Whole Watermelon?
You know the old saying, how do you eat an Elephant? One bite at a time. (I thought watermelon sounded better for this, but it is the same idea. I like elephants too much to think about eating one). When you sit down to meditate for a block of time, say twenty minutes, you are working on the whole 20-minute-size watermelon. When you use monkey bar meditation about a watermelon, you only work on one bite at a time.
(I know there is no wrong way to meditate, and when your mind wanders, and it always will, when you recover, it is not a “failure,” and the recovery is like doing reps in weight training, etc., all true. But it is still frustrating to me.)
Once you find your stride and use monkey bar meditation a few times, you will be encouraged with one micro-success after another. And start feeling like, “Hey, I can do this meditation stuff after all.” That will carry over into your meditation sessions.
There are infinite ways to do this micro meditation training. If you find one that works great for you, please leave a comment to help others.
Eating is one of my favorite times for Monkey Bar Meditation; slowly chewing and savoring one bite, it’s magic. Not every meal, not even a whole meal. Try it for a few bites and see where you want to go from there.
How Far Apart Should Your Monkey Bars be?
playgroundprofessionals.com
When walking, say you pick the third fence post ahead of you. If you don’t make it, try with one less post. If you make it, like in the picture above, add some. The whole goal is to find your stride as a baseline to work from.
It does not matter if your starting stride is 3 or 300 feet. It is a way to find the length of your starting stride. It is like using a map; what is the first thing you need to figure out? Where are you at?
Look for things or events that can be broken down into smaller slivers of time or increased as needed. Like the lines on the sidewalk, we talked about at the beginning.
When Driving?
Yes, but you must understand you do not pick an object in the distance when walking or driving and then lock your eyes on it. Once you pick a “goal post,” so to speak, you use your peripheral vision. You continue to look around like normal.
When driving, I find I am more alert when I practice monkey bar meditation. This is because monkey bar meditation is the exact opposite of “distracted driving” it is focused driving.
I pick easy-to-see objects, an overpass, mile markers, signs, a call box ahead. I go on ten-hour drives a few times a year. Monkey bar meditation now and then makes the time go by and keeps me alert.
Get More Out of Your Audio Books.
Have you ever been listening to an audiobook and then realized you went off in thought on something the book talked about a few paragraphs ago, or some other random thought?
Eventually, you focus back on the book and realize you have no idea what they were talking about. Yea, me neither. 😉
This will not happen if you use monkey bar meditation when listening to audiobooks. With your mind quiet, you will listen better and get more out of each minute. Not for the whole book, just the sections that do not hold your attention or days your mind is wandering.
Transfer The Training to Your Meditation Space
Learning, especially when learning something new, can be tied to the environment you first learned it in. You need to transfer your meditation training to where you do your meditation. To do this, I used a simple analog clock with a sweeping second hand like this.
I have this exact clock next to where I meditate. I keep my eyes on the 12 while doing pre-meditation breathing exercises as I wait for the second hand. When the second-hand reaches 12, my eyes move to the 1, and I focus on my breathing with the intention I only have to do this for five seconds.
When the second-hand reaches the 1 my eyes move to the 2 and wait as I focus on my breathing. Then to the 3 and so on.
I do this for five minutes before meditating. One hand starts out closed, and every time I reach 12, I put out one finger. This way, you do not have to put any thought into counting each round.
As you get better, add five seconds at a time. So, your next level may be the even numbers, then every fifteen seconds; 12, 3, 6, 9, etc.
Why Do the Monkey Bar Meditation Exercises Work So Well?
My theory: It works because we are tricking our minds into doing something that is not only possible but very easy; it only has to shut up for a VERY short and specific amount of time.
Once you find the amount of time that is easy for your mind to be still, you nudge it, just a little, until that slightly longer time is easy too, and so on. Our mind does not seem to learn our plan to do this repeatedly.
Whereas when you try to meditate for a large block of time all at once, you are guaranteed to lose focus over and over. Yes, I know, that is one of the lessons in meditating, getting better at catching yourself sooner and sooner, and refocusing repeatedly.
Monkey bar meditation training will strengthen your concentration muscle, too, and do it faster. However, every time I lose focus (after what I feel is too quickly), it seems like a failure. When my focus time is very short, it isn’t very pleasant.
This Is a Better Way, After All
I found monkey bar meditation training works great. The training is not deep meditation, but I feel better after, and it makes the day better. Also, monkey bar meditation did what I intended; the time I can get my mind to STFU when I meditate is longer now and growing.
Thank you.
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